Trẻ em cần được khen ngợi bất cứ khi nào có thể làm cho cô ấy cảm thấy tốt về bản thân mình và bảo vệ cô khỏi bị hư hỏng bằng cách nhạo báng và cô ấy nên được cho biết những đặc điểm nào những người như cô ấy (chẳng hạn như cảm giác của niềm vui). Cô chỉ nên được đánh giá cao khi nó là xứng đáng | SOCIAL PHOBIA 135 The child should be praised whenever possible to make her feel good about herself and protect her from being damaged by ridicule and she should be told what characteristics people like about her such as her sense of fun . She should only be praised when it is deserved otherwise it becomes meaningless and the child will doubt the value of what people say even when it is genuine. Parents should tell the child how proud they are of her for being so brave when she s frightened. The child should be told that many things just don t matter and that they will sort themselves out such as children developing different skills at different rates. If she is behind in one thing she is probably ahead in another. What the child wears is very important to her. Parents should ensure that she is seen to be wearing fashionable clothes and shoes that fit. This is not prescribing expensive designer clothes. The child should be gently questioned about her friends and others in her class to identify bullying behaviour of either the child or another child. This helps the child s awareness of bullying behaviour and what to do about it can then be discussed. Ideas are given in Chapter Three Bullying. The child should not be negatively judged in her hearing. If she hears people being critical of her she will assume that others will see the same shortcomings and come to the same conclusion so will fear having to repeat the thing in company such as a wobbly handstand. Parents should not hint by word or deed that they are in any way disappointed with the child unless it is over something small that they genuinely feel she could have managed but chose not to. This may be difficult because these problems are very subjective and parents will need to know the child intimately to judge this. 136 SCHOOL PHOBIA PANIC ATTACKS AND ANXIETY IN CHILDREN The child should be spoken to as an equal valuing her opinion and seeking her advice over things with which she could help. The child .
