The Heart of Empathic Understanding. Reflecting: Purpose: To show that you understand how the person feels. Action: Reflects the speaker’s basic feelings. Example: “You seem very upset.” | Active Listening Skills The Heart of Empathic Understanding Reflecting Purpose To show that you understand how the person feels. Action Reflects the speaker’s basic feelings. Example: “You seem very upset.” Encouraging Purpose To convey interest. To encourage the other person to keep talking. Action Don’t agree or disagree. Use neutral words. Use varying voice intonations. Example “Can you tell me more ?” Summarizing Purpose To review progress. To pull together important ideas and facts. To establish a basis for further discussion. Action Restate major ideas expressed, including feelings. Example “These seem to be the key ideas you’ve expressed ” Clarifying Purpose To help you clarify what is said. To get more information. To help the speaker see other points of view. Action Ask questions. Restate wrong interpretation to force the speaker to explain further. Example “When did this happen?” “Do I have this right? You think he told you to give him the pencil because he doesn’t like you?” Restating Purpose To show you are listening and understanding what is being said. To help the speaker see other points of view. Action Restate basic ideas and facts. Example “So you would like your friends to include you at recess, is that right?” Validating Purpose To acknowledge the worthiness of the other person. Action Acknowledge the value of their issues and feelings. Show appreciation for their efforts and actions. Example “I truly appreciate your willingness to resolve this matter.” | Active Listening Skills The Heart of Empathic Understanding Reflecting Purpose To show that you understand how the person feels. Action Reflects the speaker’s basic feelings. Example: “You seem very upset.” Encouraging Purpose To convey interest. To encourage the other person to keep talking. Action Don’t agree or disagree. Use neutral words. Use varying voice intonations. Example “Can you tell me more ?” Summarizing Purpose To review progress. To pull together important ideas and facts. To establish a basis for further discussion. Action Restate major ideas expressed, including feelings. Example “These seem to be the key ideas you’ve expressed ” Clarifying Purpose To help you clarify what is said. To get more information. To help the speaker see other points of view. Action Ask questions. Restate wrong interpretation to force the speaker to explain further. Example “When did this happen?” “Do I have this right? You think he told you to give him the pencil because he doesn’t like you?” Restating Purpose To show you are listening and understanding what is being said. To help the speaker see other points of view. Action Restate basic ideas and facts. Example “So you would like your friends to include you at recess, is that right?” Validating Purpose To acknowledge the worthiness of the other person. Action Acknowledge the value of their issues and feelings. Show appreciation for their efforts and actions. Example “I truly appreciate your willingness to resolve this matter.”
