Tại sao mất anh được đánh trong một inch của cuộc sống của mình để nhìn thấy nó? Bởi vì tôi ích kỷ. Tôi là một kẻ hèn nhát. Tôi là của cô gái, khi cô ấy thực sự có thể được sử dụng, sẽ chạy để sống và để lại những người không có thể làm theo để chịu đau khổ và chết. | unthinkable. Why did it take him being whipped within an inch of his life to see it Because I m selfish. I m a coward. I m the kind of girl who when she might actually be of use would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn t follow to suffer and die. This is the girl Gale met in the woods today. No wonder I won the Games. No decent person ever does. You saved Peeta I think weakly. But now I question even that. I knew good and well that my life back in District 12 would be unlivable if I let that boy die. I rest my head forward on the edge of the table overcome with loathing for myself. Wishing I had died in the arena. Wishing Seneca Crane had blown me to bits the way President Snow said he should have when I held out the berries. The berries. I realize the answer to who I am lies in that handful of poisonous fruit. If I held them out to save Peeta because I knew I would be shunned if I came back without him then I am despicable. If I held them out because I loved him I am still self-centered although forgivable. But if I held them out to defy the Capitol I am someone of worth. The trouble is I don t know exactly what was going on inside me at that moment. Could it be the people in the districts are right That it was an act of rebellion even if it was an unconscious one Because deep down I must know it isn t enough to keep myself or my family or my friends alive by running away. Even if I could. It wouldn t fix anything. It wouldn t stop people from being hurt the way Gale was today. Life in District 12 isn t really so different from life in the arena. At some point you have to stop running and turn around and face whoever wants you dead. The hard thing is finding the courage to do it. Well it s not hard for Gale. He was born a rebel. I m the one making an escape plan. I m so sorry I whisper. I lean forward and kiss him. His eyelashes flutter and he looks at me through a haze of opiates. Hey Catnip. Hey Gale I say. Thought you d be gone by now he says. My .
